Far From Neutral Notions - Philippine politics, culture and stuff

At day’s end, I realized I just stayed home the whole time watching Grey’s Anatomy and playing Fallout 2. It wasn’t until I checked my cellphone that I realized that the 21st anniversary of the first People Power revolution — EDSA — had come and gone. And that’s a damn shame.

I was six when it happened, and whatever memories I have of the whole thing come from books, and the stories my father would tell me. He wasn’t there either, not in body anyway. But knowing him, he was there in spirit. He was, like most of the people who marched along that historic highway, outraged. It was a moment for the ages: 21 years of Marcos tyranny finally pushed a complacent people too far, with the prospect of more years under that despotic family finally proving too much to bear.

To understand how significant that is, you have to understand that we Filipinos, taken wholly, are a tolerant lot. Individually we may be as hot-headed as anybody, but not as a people. The Filipino as a collective, as a people, exist only in the dreams of patriots, academes, activists and expats looking for an identity. In reality there is only the Filipinos: individuals that, by accident of birth, are citizens of the Republic of the Philippines, with most wishing otherwise.
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Popularity: 3% [?]

From the Philippine Daily Inquirer: seems the Melo Report does, in fact, exist, and is being distributed to the media. I for one can’t wait to read it, for all the ruckus it’s caused. Philip Alston, the United Nations rapporteur for human rights, as good as tagged the government as the primary force behind the killings when he blamed the military for many of the political murders and said that many of the killings had stemmed from the military’s campaign against the communist insurgents.

UPDATE: Download the Melo Report. Original copy at the PCIJ blog.

Popularity: 2% [?]

It’s ridiculous, really, that as busy as I am with work and the band, I can still take the time to do silly things like this: The Chiz Escudero Real Ultimate Facts!!! site.

Then again, it’s good practice: you’re looking at my first fully OOP site.

Popularity: 2% [?]

Incumbent Pampanga governor Mark Lapid is expected to get the administration’s endorsement for the gubernatorial post after he was chosen by Lakas-Christian Muslim Democrats, the ruling party in the administration coalition.

Lapid was criticized by his opponent in the upcoming polls, provincial board member Lilia Pineda, for not paying enough attention to the province, instead choosing to unleash upon the Filipino people garbage like this movie, Apoy sa Dibdib ng Samar:

Click here for major silliness.

Pineda, despite being a member of Arroyo’s party Kabalikat ng Malayang Pilipino (Kampi), will not be getting GMA’s endorsement, but is backed by 17 out of Pampanga’s 21 mayors and the majority of barangay leaders.

Popularity: 4% [?]

Nope. Still not voting for him. These are from The Preposterous Ninja Tales:

1. Chiz Escudero’s full name is Chizus Christ Escudero
2. Chiz Escudero can drain a three pointer..from the free throw line
3. Chiz Escudero knows all blind items in the tabloid, tv, and radio
4. Una pa si Chiz Escudero sa Unang Hirit
5. Alam ni Chiz kung anong briefcase ang may 4million pesos
6. Chiz will not run for the Senate, the Senate will run for Chiz
7. Chiz Escudero was the masked member of Death Threat named Pooch
8. Slapshock got their name when they tasted the pimp hand of Chiz
9. Chiz once fronted the band named Cheese..but left as they we’re getting soft and could not rock the way Chiz rockz
10. Mine-memorize ni Chiz lahat ng dapat di kailangan i memorize
11. Manny Pacquiao decided to run for office when rumors spread that Chiz will fight in his division
12. Chiz Escudero does grow a moustache and a wicked beard, but the facial hairs are scared shitless to show up IN HIS FACE

More at the Preposterous. Ninja. Tales.

Popularity: 2% [?]

In basketball, it’s called a crunch time situation: you’re the home team, and inbounding. Down by two after leading most of the way, and there’s only seconds left in the clock. The ref’s not on your side because of incessant flopping early in the game, and the crowd is firmly with the visiting team after your GM made so many bad trades the last few years. Your team has no overwhelming presence inside, and your treys have been bricking throughout the game. Your starters can’t hit the broad side of the barn, but you have a promising bench. Every coach has what they call after-timeout plays, often a play to get the ball to their best shooter or slasher for a quick jumper or a drive to the hoop. The safe play is to go for overtime and hope you can duke it out. The gutsy call is to go for the spectacular win, or the heartbreaking loss.

What do you do?

The administration’s TEAM unity, in replacing Leyte Governor Jericho Petilla with actor Cesar Montano, is trying for the spectacular game winner. Montano is a decorated actor, director, screenwriter, a pretty decent guitar player, and the UNESCO Philippine commissioner for culture in the arts. He is immensely popular, particularly with the masses. He’s also quite famous for his short fuse, but lists few other qualifications; par for the course in an arena growing increasingly bereft of candidates with even a modest claim to credibility.

The administration is confident, however: Presidential political adviser Gabriel Claudio remarked “we have always believed in his capability and winnability.” Montano himself was on truth serum, however, when he said “I am really glad because I was chosen to run as a candidate despite there are so many people more qualified than me.” (Philippine Star)

Indeed. Here’s a thought: stop using the electoral process as an ego booster. This goes double for even less talented celebs like Richard Gomez, and triple for morons like Pacquiao. They never listen though, continuing to equate popularity with ability and believing themselves God’s gift to the electorate. And to politicians trying desperately to hang on to power, he may very well be. Make no mistake: Pacquiao, Montano and their ilk are nothing more than puppets on Gloria’s string, nothing more than desperate measures to win over a voting population heavily against her. Even the inclusion of Sultan Jamalul Kiram III reeks of desperation, borne of GMA’s wanton display of arrogance and hubris.

I for one, while an admirer of Cesar Montano’s cinematographic achievements (not the least of which is getting it on with Sunshine Cruz :D), would be mortified to see yet another actor with nothing to offer in the Senate. Particularly when said actor will be depending on the country’s coffers for his campaign: when asked where who will finance his campaign, Montano mentioned that it will partly be paid for by the administration. The same administration that pilfered PHP728 Million from the fertilizer funds that were supposed to go to farmers but instead spent it on Gloria’s re-election campaign. As curious as I am as to the identity of the next Garci, I wonder who the next Joc Joc Bolante will be. Because while Gloria may or may not watch much WWE, she does embody everything the late great Eddie Guerrero would say: she lies, she cheats, she steals. Only the former wrestler was hilariously open about it. GMA would just make you disappear if you said it loud enough.

Popularity: 8% [?]

This absolutely blew me away. I know I should pay more attention to who’s who and what’s what, but never - ever - in a million years would I have thought that Enrile, the architect of Martial Law, was the chairman of the Senate human rights committee. That’s beyond absurd, that’s ludicrous.

It seems Enrile had harsh words for UN human rights investigator Phillip Alston, saying “don’t lecture to us about how to handle an insurgency problem”, because the senator apparently considers himself an expert in the field. I’ll say. In his tenure as Marcos’ Defense Minister, he staged a phony assassination attempt on himself to kick start Martial Law, during which, in it’s 9 years of implementation (1972-1981), a conservative estimate of over 1,600 people have disappeared, and thousands more detained. With the Marcosian way the Gloria administration handles it’s critics, I daresay the reason why Enrile hasn’t initiated a Senate inquiry on the matter is fairly obvious; after all, it’s precisely what he did, decades earlier.

Popularity: 2% [?]

This is in response to Syd’s comment about Chiz being the man.

Chiz Escudero is the Chuck Norris of Philippine politics

1. When Chiz Escudero jumps in a pool, he doesn’t get wet. The water gets Chiz.
2. Chiz Escudero can slam a revolving door.
3. Chiz Escudero gave Mona Lisa that smile.
4. Chiz Escudero does not get frostbite. Chiz Escudero bites frost.
5. Chiz Escudero plans to change the system of government from a Democracy to a Chiztatorship.
6. Chiz Escudero is not hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Chiz Escudero.
7. Time waits for Chiz Escudero.
8. When Chiz Escudero goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
9. Chiz Escudero once challenged Manny Pacquiao in a “Who has more testicles?” contest. Chiz Escudero won by 5.
10. Chiz Escudero can divide by zero.
11. General Protection Fault errors are caused by Chiz Escudero.
12. Chiz Escudero is always a valid argument supplied for foreach()
13. Database engineers check the manual that corresponds to the version of Chiz Escudero you are running.
14. A programmer’s greatest fear? Parse error: parse error, unexpected 'Chiz Escudero' in line 666.
15. For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chiz Escudero, each testicle is larger than the other one.
16. Chiz Escudero knows where AND when Carmen SanDiego is.
17. Chiz Escudero framed Roger Rabbit.
18. Chiz Escudero is what Willis was talkin’ about.
19. Chiz Escudero can write on read-only memory.
20. It takes Chiz Escudero 20 seconds to watch ‘Chikka Minute’.
21. A census taker once tried to test Chiz Escudero. He ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.
22. One morning Chiz Escudero shot an elephant in his pajamas. How the elephant got in his pajamas, I don’t know.
23. Chiz Escudero likes his martini shaken AND stirred.
24. Jack Dawson is, in fact, NOT the ‘king of the world’. Chiz Escudero is.
25. A deja vu is not a glitch in the Matrix. It is Chiz Escudero farting.
26. Unfortunately, no one can be told what Chiz Escudero is. You have to see it for yourself.
27. Chiz Escudero knows there is a spoon.
28. Chiz Escudero can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
29. Chiz Escudero knows his role… but never shuts his mouth.
30. Chiz Escudero can get a royal straight flush with one card.
31. Chiz Escudero let the dogs out.
32. Chiz Escudero does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chiz Escudero.
33. For every negative integer greater than zero there exists a number uniquely such that Chiz Escudero.
34. The First rule of Chiz Escudero is: you do not talk about Chiz Escudero.

And no, I’m still not pro-Chiz

Popularity: 4% [?]

Søren Kierkegaard, the Danish philosopher who once defended faith precisely because it is absurd, would totally appreciate the actions of the current administration by GMA. In fact, the basic premise of Absurdism, that the efforts of humanity to find meaning in the universe will ultimately fail because no such meaning exists (at least in relation to humanity), applies perfectly to what GMA and her dogs at the Department of “Justice” are doing, because it is nothing if not the purest form of the absurd.

Take the Inciting to Sedition charges leveled against Tribune publisher and editor-in-chief, Ninez Cacho-Olivares, Ike Señeres and Herman Tiu Laurel as a f’rinstance: it’s been an issue since before last year, particularly when GMA issued Decree… err… Proclamation 1017. Hell, they even had the gall to raid the Tribune offices. It’s absurd because we still call our government a democracy, and that we once prided ourselves on the fact that our Press was the free-est in Asia. It’s absurd, because the articles Cacho-Olivares wrote that were supposed to be inciting the people to sedition are dated 2005 and 2006. It’s absurd, because, if the Tribune chief was inciting anything, how come, two effin’ years later, she’s still in Malacañang? The absurdity is best illustrated by Cacho-Olivares herself:

Why indeed. Precisely because it is absurd.

More absurdity

Malacañang has refused to furnish the European Union and the United Nations Commission on Human Rights’ special rapporteur a copy of the findings of the Melo Commission, insisting that the report on extrajudicial killings was still incomplete. Retired Supreme Court Justice Jose Melo says otherwise. It was GMA who made a big show of calling upon the good graces of the EU and UN to investigate the killings. That they are now blocking UN Special Rapporteur Philip Alston from doing his job seems almost to go beyond absurd: it’s diabolical.

I wonder what Mr. Alston is thinking right about now. He’s being looked upon as a savior of sorts by many of the victims’ families, a dispenser of justice from on high. And that’s just absurd. Or it would be, if we had a decent and just administration. And it pisses me off that we once again have to call upon the kindness of strangers to sort out our mess for us, not unlike the little brother “making sumbong” to his parents because the big brother is a bully, which is precisely what GMA is. Mommy o, si Gloria.

Yet even more absurdity

Our “Justice” Secretary is Raul Gonzales. Now that’s absurd. Ladies and gentlemen, the country under GMA. Precisely because it is absurd.

Popularity: 2% [?]