This is in response to Syd’s comment about Chiz being the man.

Chiz Escudero is the Chuck Norris of Philippine politics

1. When Chiz Escudero jumps in a pool, he doesn’t get wet. The water gets Chiz.
2. Chiz Escudero can slam a revolving door.
3. Chiz Escudero gave Mona Lisa that smile.
4. Chiz Escudero does not get frostbite. Chiz Escudero bites frost.
5. Chiz Escudero plans to change the system of government from a Democracy to a Chiztatorship.
6. Chiz Escudero is not hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Chiz Escudero.
7. Time waits for Chiz Escudero.
8. When Chiz Escudero goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
9. Chiz Escudero once challenged Manny Pacquiao in a “Who has more testicles?” contest. Chiz Escudero won by 5.
10. Chiz Escudero can divide by zero.
11. General Protection Fault errors are caused by Chiz Escudero.
12. Chiz Escudero is always a valid argument supplied for foreach()
13. Database engineers check the manual that corresponds to the version of Chiz Escudero you are running.
14. A programmer’s greatest fear? Parse error: parse error, unexpected 'Chiz Escudero' in line 666.
15. For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chiz Escudero, each testicle is larger than the other one.
16. Chiz Escudero knows where AND when Carmen SanDiego is.
17. Chiz Escudero framed Roger Rabbit.
18. Chiz Escudero is what Willis was talkin’ about.
19. Chiz Escudero can write on read-only memory.
20. It takes Chiz Escudero 20 seconds to watch ‘Chikka Minute’.
21. A census taker once tried to test Chiz Escudero. He ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.
22. One morning Chiz Escudero shot an elephant in his pajamas. How the elephant got in his pajamas, I don’t know.
23. Chiz Escudero likes his martini shaken AND stirred.
24. Jack Dawson is, in fact, NOT the ‘king of the world’. Chiz Escudero is.
25. A deja vu is not a glitch in the Matrix. It is Chiz Escudero farting.
26. Unfortunately, no one can be told what Chiz Escudero is. You have to see it for yourself.
27. Chiz Escudero knows there is a spoon.
28. Chiz Escudero can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
29. Chiz Escudero knows his role… but never shuts his mouth.
30. Chiz Escudero can get a royal straight flush with one card.
31. Chiz Escudero let the dogs out.
32. Chiz Escudero does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chiz Escudero.
33. For every negative integer greater than zero there exists a number uniquely such that Chiz Escudero.
34. The First rule of Chiz Escudero is: you do not talk about Chiz Escudero.

And no, I’m still not pro-Chiz ;)

Related posts:

1. More Chiz Escudero Facts
2. Chiz Escudero Real Ultimate Facts!!!
3. Chiz and other things
4. Manny Villar and the World’s Smallest Violin
5. So that’s why it’s called ‘Bikini Bottom’…