Far From Neutral Notions - Philippine politics, culture and stuff

Meaning of life

Scientists have debated the meaning of life since last tuesday. A consensus has yet to be reached, though many theories have been put forth.

Happiness

Many people, a majority of them being gay communist pinko hippy liberals, have posited that it is happiness that one should live for. This fails to account for the fact that happiness is, in fact, a warm gun, an admonition admitted even by the theory’s proponents!

42

Other people have suggested that the meaning of life is in fact 42; this is incorrect, as 42, according the American National Standards Institute, or ANSI, is “the answer to the ultimate question of Life, the Universe, and Everything” (notably, these words have a slight echo when spoken properly). The distinction is subtle, but important, as one is funny, while the other is Fucking Retarded.

I’m going to fucking bury that guy, I have done it before, and I will do it again. I’m going to fucking kill™ — © 2005 Steve Ballmer

What To Do If Steve Ballmer Has Vowed To Fucking Kill™ You

Resistance is futile. Your only hope in this case is to keep moving. Ballmer does not always Fucking Kill™ things in any particular order, so if you stay out of his way he may not actually hunt you down - after all, at any given moment there are three other things within his line of sight that he has vowed to fucking kill. Above all, DO NOT attempt to fight back. He will fucking bury you, he has done it before, and he will do it again. For the love of God, just run.